Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need to calm my uterus...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
