pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm too high and old for this...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
