lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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