btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
