I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
