my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
