Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize