No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
