The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
