I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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