she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
