John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
