My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize