TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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