well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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