is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
