we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
