u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I understand Curling. That high.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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