Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
