Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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