sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize