why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
