We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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