with your own penis?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
