I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
