we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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