I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
