Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
