You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
