Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
