Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The air was thick with penises
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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