I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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