After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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