i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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