FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
