But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
