so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
