Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
