You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we have officially lost it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
