I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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