How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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