Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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