I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
