Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
