we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
