your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
