3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
