I'm going to jail i love you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
