im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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