Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
