we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's shark week go big or go home
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
