My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
