I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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