The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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