I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
