I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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