How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just tell him i said nine months
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
