All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
