dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
