So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
