Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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