whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
